The 2013 DQ Dog Of The Year Awards
Every year at Nick Graham, we find the Top Dogs around the world and host
the DQ Dog of the Year Awards. These Top Dogs are selected from thousands of
entrants and are flown to Munich by Lufthansa Business/Cargo where they
stay at the luxurious BoneHaus Hotel on beautiful Slobber Strasse.
Judged by pet food commercial celebrities and other notables in the canine
film and music industries, the winner will go on to win the "Golden Bowl"
award with an all expense paid trip to Chihuahua, Mexico for a week at the
famed Perro Loco Resort.
This years awards are hosted by Lassie's Great Granddaughter, Lassandra.
The categories they are judged on are:
1) Ability to hold left leg at a perfect 90 degree angle for 45 seconds.
2) Ability to catch a frisbee from 300 yards from a standing nap.
3) Ability to sit still while 12 Siamese cats are paraded in front of them.
4) Ability to sleep for 6 hours without twitching or quietly growling.
5) Ability to steal a steak off a barbecue in under 3 seconds.
6) Ability to chase a Mercedes without breaking a sweat.
7) Ability to pick up girls in a bar without sniffing them.
8) Ability to tear apart a garbage bag and find left over pizza.
9) Ability to mistakenly eat Marijuana brownies and not break out laughing.
10) Ability to lift a toilet seat and drink while still holding a
So stay tuned and watch the excitement unfold this Christmas Eve on DBS at
Now without further adieu, here are the contestants for the 2013 ( Year
14,091 in dog years) DQ Dog of the Year Awards!
The Donald is the CEO/President/Owner/Secretary/
Girl of the DQ Awards. A successful real estate mogul from New York City,
The Donald is best known for his casino in Atlantic City, "The In-Breeder
Casino and Spa" with its famous "Hair of the Dog" Treatment Center. The
Donald likes to spend his weekends with his wife, 8 ex-wives and 63
children, who as a group range in age from 1 to 127 (dog years). Even though
some of his wives are younger than his children, they still get along and
all live at his 75 room Zaha Hadid designed kennel in Dogbury, Connecticut.
Known throughout Germany as a nightclub impressario who used to date Donna
Summer, Dieter the Dog likes to spend his weekends digging holes and
watching Lassie videos with German subtitles. Dieter wears the Nick Graham
Queens Polka Shirt.
expelled for chewing out his teachers. Despite that minor setback, he became
head of the futures desk at JPMorgan, where he has a corner office with a
private fire hydrant. Doulas is wearing the Give a Dog a Bone Scarf
Toronto based Dennis is the world's most successful publisher of magazines
for animals. He prints such titles as The Beak, Growl, The Daily Utter, and
the The Giraffe, the only magazine published on 14 foot long paper. Dennis
is wearing the Nick Graham The Brooklyn Polka Shirt.
A graphic designer working at the Whisker/Sniff Agency in Stockholm, Dvorka
is known for his impeccable kerning ability. He recently won the esteemed
Knot/Spade Award. Dvorka is wearing the 'I Love Helvetica Shirt'
Though raised in a lower middle-class kennel, Dimitri the Dog went on to
become a world class trader of stuffed toys and rawhide bones, and is known
for his innate ability to sniff beauty from across a casino. Dimitri wears a
Nick Graham Uptown Dress shirt.
From an early age, Danny the Dog was known as the toughest dude in Dumbo.
But after being busted for stealing 1000 Prada dog collars from JFK, he
cleaned up his act and opened a Vegan disco called "Lil Puppies." Danny
wears a Nick Graham Because He Can Tee Shirt. Danny wears the Because He Can shirt.