10 THINGS NOT TO WEAR THIS SPRING
In many places it may still be hard to believe, spring really is coming. And while those first mild days can make us feel that anything-goes, the euphoria of spring fever shouldn’t translate into bad sartorial choices. You can feel just as gloriously excited about it all and dress as fittingly comfortable without looking like a slob, a clown, or worse yet, a slovenly clown. Here are 10 fashion pitfalls to avoid so that you don’t get any embarrassing looks as you glide by.
Have a collection of wide ties you just can’t let go of? Unless you’re willing to take them to the tailor and have taken in, give them to charity. Anything wider than 2.5” needs to be retired. On the other hand, don’t go narrower than 1.5” unless you’re attending new wave night.
Just as we have evolved not to require certain physical traits our ancient ancestors had, so can we say goodbye to the third button on suits or blazers. With jackets being more fitted now, like our atavistic tails, that third button is just going to get in the way.
This should be ancient history by now. Your dad shouldn’t even be wearing pleated pants. Keep them flat and tailored. Only exception is if you’re doing a totally vintage, pre-Rat-Pack movie-star look – preferably for a movie.
Popped-Up Polo Collars
Unless you’re actually playing tennis or polo, or forgot to put on sunblock and are in danger of being labeled a redneck, keep the collar down. Outerwear collars are another story, as James Deane immortally illustrated.
While some allowance can still be made for wearing cargo pants – e.g., you’re an electrician at work – any shorts with pockets big enough to make you look like a potential shoplifter need to be relegated to…well, to shoplifting.
Okay, you tossed the cargo shorts, but this is the other extreme to avoid: overly tight shorts cut above the thigh. While occasionally, a young waifish type may be able to pull them off, most grown men should simply not be trying to look waifish.
Dude, those floral board shorts may have looked cool with a surfboard – once. Sure, they’re comfortable to wear around the house - just don’t think about wearing them anywhere else. Get into some more tailored and sexy shorts, and you may find you don’t need to carry a surfboard.
Nothing beats them for the beach, but avoid rubber ones for street-wear – if for no other reason than that a nail can go right through them. Worst of all, don’t ever wear them with a suit. Get some sleek leather sandals. Your feet will thank you.
No matter how awesome the design on that polyester T-shirt on the sale rack, put it down and walk away. Why? Because it doesn’t breathe and you’ll stink by the end of the day. Very un-awesome.
You may think it’s cool to have that big brand logo on your T-shirt, your hat, or your ass, but nobody wants to go out with a walking billboard. A logo should blend into the overall design of the clothes or remain unseen. Just one of many reasons Nick Graham shirts are the perfect spring choice.